Maybe I'm Naive...
...and an optimist (which, I understand, is at odds with my cynicism), but hmmm, I don't know...when someone asks you out on a date, shouldn't they follow up and actually continue communication so you can have said date?
Enter Bob (his name has been changed to protect him, though I'm not sure why we're being nice to him). Bob is cute. Bob thinks I'm cute. Bob sends a preliminary, non-generic email. I respond. Due to my propensity to hide, my profile is unavailable when Bob decides to look at me again. Bob calls me on this. I apologize, unhide. I hide again, coincidentally when Bob is looking for me. Bob asks where I've gone. Because of this behavior, Bob's name becomes "Stalker Bob." (Red flag presently being hoisted on the flagpole).
You'd think I'd be deterred...but, alas, I am slightly intrigued. In another email, Stalker Bob asks if I'd like to meet. He even gives options of what we can do. Unfortunately, my popularity gets the best of me last week (time proposed for date) and I can't make it. So I write him and tell him so (and why) and propose other times (so as not to look disinterested). He writes back and says my days will work for him, but he has a [endearing to women] commitment [which raised some more red flags] early in the week--he's not sure when--but he'll get back to me.
That was a week ago.
Now, when did it become okay for a guy to ask a gal out on a date and then ignore her. I mean, I've been out of the "real" dating world for a while (was I ever really in it?) and, well, I didn't think this behavior all of a sudden became okay.
As Objection so aptly stated, "nothing good could come from someone we had already dubbed Stalker Bob."
posted by Reluctant Dater @ Wednesday, April 12, 2006
10 Comments:
I don't understand... what's with the hiding?
Perhaps he became disinterested?
welcome to my world. wasn't it just last week i got a call on monday saying let's go get all you can eat crabs "later in the week"...then no mention. and i basically had to tell him if i didn't see him over weekend i.e. saturday at this pointi would be mad. which of course is never a good mood but showed the height of my frustration.
btw. no call. am i surprised? no. not really.
good thing i'm going to a wedding this weekend where i have been assured lots of single men...plus it's a ritz and the weather is supposed to be beautful.
nothing is getting me down:D
mood should be move...maybe i'm still thinking about the bad mood he was in sunday after i made him hang out with me saturday.
i-66, why would he become disinterested in ME? come on.
and, what about the hiding do you not get? why i do it?
Of course he became disinterested. Get a clue! You're obviously not the only person that he is making dates with. As a guy I can say this has happened many times -- Ask someone out on a date, she is busy on that day, so she makes counteroffers. But, by that time, I'm already going on dates with other women. And if I like those women, why would I go back and contact the one I haven't even been out with yet? No one is to blame here, it is just a matter of chance and logistics.
"well, I didn't think this behavior all of a sudden became okay."
Actually, it IS okay. The only rule in dating is to have fun and go out with someone you like. There are no obligations. If he likes you, he'll get back to you, otherwise forget about it.
point taken, mr. anonymous...and understood, and expected. but can't a girl be idealistic sometime? and, no doubt we are sometimes lacking other inspiration.
Yes. Why is it that you hide?
i think it's because girls (ie me) have a hard time letting guys know they're interested...i mean, it goes back to the playground days when it was embarassing to admit to anyone (especially yourself) that you "like liked" someboday. and maybe, too, part of it comes from the facts that (1) you think he's cute the first pic you see but, when you see more and read his profile, you decide he's not for you and you don't want to get his hopes up and/or don't want him to think because you looked you're interested (2) you search a lot when you do things like this and sometimes you forget whose profile you've already looked at--and you def don't want to be that stalker girl whose profile keeps showing up at the top of his "who's viewed me" list.
these are very girls (and personal) reasons. i get it.
My match profile is hidden right now because I'm not actively pursuing anything, at least not on match. When I don't want to receive anymore e-mails, and/or my schedule is too busy then I'll hide my profile.
I love how quickly someone can go from "Name" to "Stalker Name" or "McSomethingName".
Nicknames are the best and, in my experience, usually indicative that the person isn't going to last long in my group of friends.
Post a Comment
<< Home