Playing With Matches

What started as a means of chronicling the online dating experiences of two picky yet adventurous almost thirty somethings has turned into a chronicle of all that is, was and has made up their collective dating histories. Our two original daters are now joined by several other fun, breezy, sassy gals, and Playing With Matches is now a missive on dating misadventures, a cacophony of ups and downs, turmoil and bliss. With a bit of snark mixed in here and there.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Courage and Confidence...that's moi

So to bring everyone up to speed..

i ended up texting him on Friday and asking if he wanted to grab a drink after work.

sometimes i cannot leave things be...and part of me though "f it" if he says no, he says no and i move on...

well he says "yes but i'm leaving for chi town"

who knows what that means...really...

i have been super strong and not texted since...but then again, he has not texted me either. though because there are some mutual friends...i heard there was weekend texts being sent...

will have to wait and see if i ever have anything else to blog on him...pretty sure he will be at same new years party...and we all know what can happen new years eve!

on a side note,

have met another...really kind of strange...

but i am limited on time...and he is worth some consideration...

so his blog will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

All is good in the land of RJ

So last night was the first of three work xmas parties i have to attend. The wine was flowing...I got a little relaxed...AND I TEXTED.

i know. weak. big time.

but all i wrote was "sup?"

and i got back an explanation of how bad he felt monday and sorry i missed it.

i texted back that was fine that superbad was out on dvd and that we should raincheck...i might not have mentioned in my earlier post...we had made plans to watch the movie. so it wasn't all "you know"

i got raincheck it is...

then we chatted a little more about nothing

i asked him if he was feeling better on tuesday...then i fell asleep

this morning i got his text from last nigth that said much better.

yay! i love when i don't respond...even when it is not on purpose

lame. i know.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

tuesday update...for those who may care

no contact. he didn't text...and i certainly didn't call, text and probably won't anytime soon...

Monday, December 10, 2007

monday hangover

Okay. I will do my part to bring this blog back up to speed. I am, of course, still single...and barely dating. In fact, I've recently been discouraged by the fact I'm feeling incredibly open to the idea of dating (the first time i've really felt like this in years) and that i haven't really met anyone new that has caught my fancy.

2 weeks ago I met someone...a friend of a friend that was invited to the same bar as me to watch our rival football teams play against each other. it was kind of one of those first sight things without the love but lots of attraction...i think its his smile. later on in the night after the games were over we ended up seated next to each other and spent some time this point i was intrigued. i managed to get him my number and he texted me..then our crowds decided to go different places so we parted ways.

last weekend i had to work all day sunday...but managed to make the tail end of brunch. he was there! i looked awful. i was in loose jeans and t-shirt and no makeup. but i still thought he was cute so i didn't hide myself too much. and i learned that when my name was mentioned earlier that day he immediately commented on the fact he knew me and thought i was "cool" whatever that means...

that a rare moment of courage and after lots of encouragement from one of his good friends i sent him a simple text letting him know it was nice to see him. this then lead to texts on and off all week. and lots of text messages from him when he was out downtown on saturday night. which led to brunch being discussed.

then sunday morning i got a text about brunch before i was even up and around. i was thinking maybe there was some interest on his end as well.

apparently not.

i'm not very suave at the dating scene. if i'm interested, i'm interested and while i like some affirmation...i will let someone know i like them.

so yesterday, we show up at brunch...he's there. next thing i know i hear him say "here come my bitches" sure enough the girl he's been seeing or was recently seeing comes walking up with her friend. WHA-WHAT???

well i'm not really down with this but i just continue having a good time. i learn from her that she had kind of ended it awhile back and when i expressed my interest...she didn't seem concerned or surprised. she did tell me about some of his "issues" but that could have been a tactic to make me get away from him.

so here's the grisly...

in my drunken, semi-jealous state that it is clear that we can't date and that maybe we should just fb and be done with needless to say i have not even smooched this even just writing this makes my stomach clench

well he agrees to the fb but says why can't we date...and starts asking me questions about why he is undateable. and i tell him that he texts someone rather than calling and invites other girls when they are out...because even if he was oblivious to my beginnings of adoration...he definitely was not concerned with the other girl's feelings. (apparently she left when she realized how flirtatious we had gotten)

i cannot believe i did that...sure it got me lots of attention from him for the remainder of the afternoon...but not positive attention...and not anything near what i may have wanted...and i do realize fb is a oneway path to nothing.

well anyways...i think i'm supposed to have a date for the dirty tonight. which is not my style nor my speed...

i'm praying he does not text and that we can just run into each other sometime soon and pretend none of this ever happened.

especially since that is not the relationship i think i want with him.

though, if i decide it is...i guess i have affirmation that he's game.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

A lost cause?

I'm going to try, yet again, to bring this puppy back to life.

I bet you've all forgotten about this blog. I almost had, myself, even though it was my brainchild almost two years ago. It's a shame, because it did at one time bring me (and my fellow bloggers, don't deny it) an anonymous outlet to discuss our romantic happenings (and mishappenings and, lbh, unhappenings). It was therapeutic for me to use this arena as a means of helping myself figure out what was going on in my so-called love life. Back in the beginning, there was a lot of [melo]drama--admittedly, lots of it self-created.

This started as a chronicle of online dating recaps. It wasn't long ago that Objection and I were single girls about town, flitting and floating from one forced social event to another, trying to find our place, our way, in a world we thought we wanted to be a part of. Little did we know that the world of bars and beverages, of smoke filled rooms and nights that end as the sun come up was not the place we wanted to be.

In a little over a month, RCB and I will have been together [for real] for a year. I am just going to come and say "nanny nanny boo boo" to all you naysayers out there who warned me against giving him another chance, who advised me that people don't change, that they can't change. I am here to tell you that you were wrong.

And now I will step of my "I told you so" soapbox and revel in the moment. We have had a great almost year. At the risk of sounding trite (and thus losing the seven readers I may or may not still have), I can say I've learned a lot about myself and what I want; I've learned what I am willing to put up with and what I'm not; I've learned to accept people's flaws and bask in their differences--of opinion, of lifestyle, of taste in movies; I've come to realize that love and life are worth the challenges they both inevitably put in your path and how you navigate that path is the biggest challenge of all. However, the most important lesson I've learned is from my good friend the Desperate Housewife (hi, DH!) matter how good, strong or safe a relationship, it is never without work. A relationship that doesn't take work is a passive one where neither party is being "real."

As RCB himself told me, after an atypical spat (for which he deserved my consternation): "You can't expect to be happy with me all the time. You have to get mad sometimes. If you don't, then this is not real."

I guess this blog really doesn't have a point. And, for that, I am sorry. I just felt the sudden urge to get back out there, much like the urge to start this blog was a reaction to getting back "out there" and into the world of dating.

So, I welcome myself back, I hope we still have at least a small following and wonder if my favorite gals will take my lead and start posting--if not often, at least occasionally.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Did she really?

You are not seeing things...there is actually a new post on PWM! In an effort to resurrect our previously awesome blog, I have decided to come out of hiding and post, hoping that my fellow blogettes will take the lead and get back in the blogging groove.

So, instead of going into a whole post about how my relationship with RCB is going (yes, friends, it is still going! With all of the major milestones you would have expected by this point, too, almost right on "schedule," even!) I am, instead, going to tell you an amusing tale.

A few weekends ago I had the pleasure of hosting a[nother] bridal shower for the fiance of my cousin (their wedding is next weekend). The affair was quite splendid, though for that I cannot take the credit (I was hostess by name only, I will admit).

Regardless, the mother of the bride approached me at the end of the shower to thank me. Please recall that RD is from a brown family, as is this particular soon to be member of the family. Her mother put her arm around me and said a "typical" and "traditional" brown phrase that means something to the affect of "God willing, you're next." Or something. To which I chuckled a little. She asked why I laughed. I giggled again. She looked at me, patted me on the shoulder and said, "It's never too late."


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

vacation flings

coming soon.