monday hangover

Okay. I will do my part to bring this blog back up to speed. I am, of course, still single...and barely dating. In fact, I've recently been discouraged by the fact I'm feeling incredibly open to the idea of dating (the first time i've really felt like this in years) and that i haven't really met anyone new that has caught my fancy.

2 weeks ago I met someone...a friend of a friend that was invited to the same bar as me to watch our rival football teams play against each other. it was kind of one of those first sight things without the love but lots of attraction...i think its his smile. later on in the night after the games were over we ended up seated next to each other and spent some time talking...by this point i was intrigued. i managed to get him my number and he texted me..then our crowds decided to go different places so we parted ways.

last weekend i had to work all day sunday...but managed to make the tail end of brunch. he was there! i looked awful. i was in loose jeans and t-shirt and no makeup. but i still thought he was cute so i didn't hide myself too much. and i learned that when my name was mentioned earlier that day he immediately commented on the fact he knew me and thought i was "cool" whatever that means...

that night...in a rare moment of courage and after lots of encouragement from one of his good friends i sent him a simple text letting him know it was nice to see him. this then lead to texts on and off all week. and lots of text messages from him when he was out downtown on saturday night. which led to brunch being discussed.

then sunday morning i got a text about brunch before i was even up and around. i was thinking maybe there was some interest on his end as well.

apparently not.

i'm not very suave at the dating scene. if i'm interested, i'm interested and while i like some affirmation...i will let someone know i like them.

so yesterday, we show up at brunch...he's there. next thing i know i hear him say "here come my bitches" sure enough the girl he's been seeing or was recently seeing comes walking up with her friend. WHA-WHAT???

well i'm not really down with this but i just continue having a good time. i learn from her that she had kind of ended it awhile back and when i expressed my interest...she didn't seem concerned or surprised. she did tell me about some of his "issues" but that could have been a tactic to make me get away from him.

so here's the grisly...

in my drunken, semi-jealous state that it is clear that we can't date and that maybe we should just fb and be done with it...now needless to say i have not even smooched this character...so even just writing this makes my stomach clench

well he agrees to the fb but says why can't we date...and starts asking me questions about why he is undateable. and i tell him that he texts someone rather than calling and invites other girls when they are out...because even if he was oblivious to my beginnings of adoration...he definitely was not concerned with the other girl's feelings. (apparently she left when she realized how flirtatious we had gotten)

i cannot believe i did that...sure it got me lots of attention from him for the remainder of the afternoon...but not positive attention...and not anything near what i may have wanted...and i do realize fb is a oneway path to nothing.

well anyways...i think i'm supposed to have a date for the dirty tonight. which is not my style nor my speed...

i'm praying he does not text and that we can just run into each other sometime soon and pretend none of this ever happened.

especially since that is not the relationship i think i want with him.

though, if i decide it is...i guess i have affirmation that he's game.