Playing With Matches

What started as a means of chronicling the online dating experiences of two picky yet adventurous almost thirty somethings has turned into a chronicle of all that is, was and has made up their collective dating histories. Our two original daters are now joined by several other fun, breezy, sassy gals, and Playing With Matches is now a missive on dating misadventures, a cacophony of ups and downs, turmoil and bliss. With a bit of snark mixed in here and there.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Leading lady...or best friend?

I saw The Holiday with LC. Tagged a romantic comedy, to me it was nothing of the sort. Romantic, maybe. But comedic? Absolutely not. Unless you (or I should say I) find my life to be a comedy. If we’re going to be honest (because you know I always try to be), these days (or the past year and a half, more like it) I guess my dating life has been a comedy of errors.

Usually, in movies such as this (ie ones about unrequited love, lost love, etc.) I can find myself relating, on at least a very base level, to the female character (who, most likely, is the one who is brokenhearted, wanting, pining for, hoping for, wallowing, wishing, worrying about…you get the picture). In this movie, I related (at different points throughout the film) to many, including male characters.

Amanda, played by Cameron Diaz, is one gal who feels emotion but doesn’t show it. In her case, it’s an inability to do so; in my case, I try not to do so. Lately, I’ve overcome that. I won’t give anything away by telling you if she is able to do the same. Another thing Amanda and I have in common is our tendency to “beastie boy” (aka sabotage) relationships. Amanda totally beastie boyed all of her relationships past and took the same path in the movie, making up stories about her holiday fling (a very hott Jude Law) and (maybe? maybe not.) putting the kabash on the relationship with a whole slew of what ifs instead of sitting there and enjoying the moment.

Iris, played by Kate Winslet, is classic RD. Everything she did, said, talked about and was represented me. I felt, at times, that I was the one who should have been performing that script. Her speech at the beginning, her way of handling herself around (and not) the ex, her speech about love and getting over it at the end of the movie...all of it. But then Graham (Jude) would have been my brother and I couldn’t have made out with him.

Even Jack Black’s Miles said and did things that I’ve said and done in the past [two weeks].

As I seem to have taken a tangent from the point I started out trying to make…the movie was an accurate depiction of what people do after a break up—how they act in the days, weeks and, sadly, even years following. There were numerous instances throughout the 2+ hours where I could just feel LC staring at me, as if to say, “This is so you! Do you see what I’m dealing with??” To which I kept giving quite audible, “SHUT UP”s.

I stole the title from one of the best lines in the movie. Iris, one of the main characters, is sitting at dinner with an older man whom she has befriended. He asks her why such a beautiful, fun, wonderful woman is alone (ie the question every single woman loves to hear). Iris’s dinner companion, a man who has been in the movie industry since the days of Cary Grant, says this to her: “in the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.”

Reluctant Dater likes to be the best friend. Or so she tells herself and others. The “nice” part of me, the “kill them with kindness” [without killing them but while still getting to spend time with them] relegates me to such a position and, I’m afraid, may stifle me from becoming the leading lady I deserve to be—the Audrey Hepburn to his George Peppard, the Vivien Leigh to his Clark Gable, the Julia Roberts to his Richard Gere. I know I do this, I always have. Another lesson learned came from none other than Miles when he finds out that Iris is maintaining correspondence with her ex (of three years, who happens to be engaged); Miles says something to the effect of how he [the ex] gets to keep [an eager for any kind of communication] Iris around and, thus, the ex gets the benefit while Iris gets nothing out of it. There is nothing going on here except a perpetuation of the breakup; he’s not letting her forget him. And that’s what she needs to do before she can move on to bigger and better things.

Funny, it’s something someone else told me the other day, too. And, I know it’s what I need to do. But it’s so hard not to answer the phone when he calls, or answer an email when it pops into my inbox. Even if there’s no flirting. And, obviously, I’m not the only one who’s doing these things as a whole effing movie was based upon this (and is doing quite well).

Anyway, I felt the need to relate something in pop culture to my life today, as writing about my therapy iPod mix (an idea inspired by lmnt’s music post the other day) just seemed too depressing. But, don’t worry: some day you will be lucky enough to get that playlist. And what a playlist it is.

While the title quote was inspiring, the following made me cry (a lot) and really hit home…but gives hope, too:

It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends...you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little peices of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy Happy Holidays

Just wanted to wish all of you a wonderful holiday season:D i am sorry i am m.i.a. these days...i know...boo hiss...*sniff*

i miss you all

...to respond to something...my firm had three parties...i wore a suit to the client party, a nice pair of slacks, winter white angora sweater and fun jewelry to the attorney party and tomorrow i'm wearing business casual to the office party...

that was the only post i really read when i just skimmed the page...

will be back posting regularly sometime after the new year!

and yes. that is a threat.

oh and i almost forgot...welcome new posters...

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

To Date or Not to Date?

That is the question I am facing this holiday season. When I return home for Christmas, I will be seeing a close male friend whom I almost dated a few years ago. When we met, we were working together, a time when we both had very intense schedules, yet we quickly became good friends, and though it took him a while to get up the courage to say something to me about how he felt, he finally did. And I rejected him, saying I thought things were better “just friends”, even though mentally and emotionally he is everything I could really ever want in a boyfriend/husband.

We love to spend time together doing the same things, our day to day lifestyles are very similar, we have similar values, he is not intimidated by a woman with a demanding or well paying career, and we have even already been on a vacation (with another friend) together. My rejection of course confused and frustrated him, as he and some of our friends swore there was some definite chemistry there, but our discussion never threatened our friendship. The problem for me was that I didn’t think I had ever been really attracted to him. Superficial, huh? DB is not bad looking at all, he is successful professionally, caring, funny and intelligent, he’s just not my usual “type”. While at times I’ve thought that he had pretty eyes, or nice arms, I never really find myself thinking about him… in that way. He has always just been the guy I would love to set up with a single girlfriend – maybe right for someone else, but not me.

So, in preparation for my trip home, he has already contacted me, and we’ve made some plans, he has even suggested some very nice restaurants. I constantly am left wondering – should I be giving this guy more of a chance? And, why am I really thinking about this now? Is it because I’ve been noticing his picture on my mantle more lately, and thinking about how my life would be different had I been more open to a relationship with him three years ago? Is it just the holidays, and being single? Is it the fact that I wonder if I’d just jumped in, and kissed him, if my romantic feelings might have been different? I have a friend who swears she didn’t really think romantically about her husband until the first time that he kissed her.

Bloggers – what is your opinion? Can physical attraction really evolve? And is it really that important? (I think it is). What are the chances he even feels the same way about me three years later?

Fear of Mr. U.N. Owen *

First, allow me to express my gratitude to the readers (and fellow PWM blogger) who took the time to respond to my most recent post. Somehow, in a matter of 48 hours I've managed to slowly become increasingly anxious about the HS situation. Always eager to find the root of any and all anxiety thus permitting for its removal from my life, I've tried to figure out the why behind this.

Usually when I'm anxious in the relationship context it's because I need reassurance and/or validation that the other party is feeling the same way I feel. Sometimes, there's a conversation that I need to have to establish this. For example, with EE I struggled for months with the exclusivity thing. A simple conversation with him should have been able to quash said anxiety (assuming of course that (1) I'd been able to initiate such a conversation and (2) upon initiation he had been responsive and supportive). But, in examining the current situation, I find that there's not really a conversation that I could have with HS to make me feel more at ease. He's been acting in exactly the way I've been wanting a guy to act for a long time. He communicates well and frequently. He doesn't hesitate to spend long amounts of time with me. Marathon dates have become normal for us. And, LBH, we've only been dating a short time, so it seems way too early to clarify anything.

So, what's the issue then? Well, I think it's a basic fear of the unknown (* aka Mr. U.N. Owen -- thank you Agatha Christie). I think in part, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I think in part, I'm afraid of getting too comfortable. This relationship has fostered an environment where I (up until the past few days) haven't worried much about e-mailing or texting whenever I feel the need, or planning dates way in advance. I may think twice before sending correspondence, but I rarely think three times. But suddenly, I'm starting to worry that HS is going to get freaked out and think it's all too much too fast...even though he has perpetuated this very comfortable, open kind of exchange. Suddenly, I question whether I should ask about interest in events that are weeks in the future (a recent such inquiry and a lack of response as of yet is a major factor in my current anxiety).

The difficult part of the realization that I'm fearing the unknown here (while simultaneously worrying that I'm going to destroy what seems to be a good basis for a relationship), is that I know that this is all my own internal issue. It's not something that I can likely resolve by getting additional information from HS. Nope. It's something I need to figure out on my own. What's the reasoning for this? Why do I fear messing things up so much? Why do I assume that I'm going to be the one to screw it up? These are all excellent questions. So, today I shall ponder them. Feedback welcomed blogging friends.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Naughty or Nice?

Interestingly, I've recently decided that the concepts of naughty and nice need not be mutually exclusive. Afterall, sometimes being naughty can be very very nice. If I've learned nothing else this year, I've learned this to be true. But, I digress.

So, I've been somewhat absent as of late. Apologies to all loyal readers. Here's the update. Things with HS are going quite well. No red flags in sight (but wait, is that a red flag in and of itself?). Yup. I'm happy. But, here's the deal. LBH, I want a BF. That's been the problem with all the relationships of this past year. I'm just not content with the one date per week going no where kind of "relationship." In the words of Liz Phair, "I want all that stupid old sh!t like letters and sodas."

So, could things with HS be heading that way? Sometimes I think maybe so. We have multiple dates each week. We have a great time together. He's sweet and attentive. So, what's the problem? The "problem" is that I can't stay detached forever. Sometimes I think it may be easier to be a sociopath, but alas, I'm far from one. Emotion eventually comes into play. And, with emotion comes a chance for getting hurt...again.

A while ago, I pondered the question, does getting your hopes up and wishing for the best make it any worse if/when it all unravels? I'm generally not positive in my relationship outlook. I'm always waiting for the bottom to fall out. But, what's the harm in wishing for it to work out well? At least then, I can be happy in the moment. And, will it really hurt any more if I'm wrong?

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Ain't that the truth.

One of my mom's friends sent me (and her daughters) the following this morning. Kind of appropros, considering my past week.

Once upon a time, a girl asked her guy, "Will you marry me?"
The guy said "No." The girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny, and was never farted on. The End.

Happy Saturday!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Blue crush.

The phrase used to describe when one has a crush almost immediately after a breakup (ie when you’re blue).

Some people call it a rebound. As hottie Jim said last night on The Office, a rebound “can be a really fun distraction. But, when it’s over, you’re really thinking about the girl you really like. The one that broke your heart.”

I have a blue crush. Soon, huh? Another work person, of course, because that appears to be my M.O. Like I didn’t learn my lesson from Him and RCB. But this one seems different. Weeks ago, he expressed interest in me to a mutual friend. Not sure if she told him my status (because, as far as she knew, it was precarious at best). Saw him at the party last night. We might have danced (I never dance. And I wasn’t even drinking.). He might have even twirled me. Maybe he got me a drink and, before he went to get it, said, “don’t move, I’ll be right back.” Perhaps, today, we emailed back and forth.

An easy distraction? An insecure search for attention? A desperate attempt to feel wanted and cute and wanted and fun and wanted?

Maybe, if you knew that I saw RCB yesterday, that we spent over an hour, in my office, talking (really talking), your opinion would change. (Unfortunately, RCB’s opinion has not changed. But our conversation was good nevertheless. And worthy of a blog entry in the near future.)

But for now, let’s just crush. It’s way more fun.

More holiday office party etiquette.

Last night, I attended the same office party as Tex. She and I, it turns out, are excellent wingmen, but that is a story for another time.

We had a grand old time watching the crowd (and, with 3000+ people, quite a crowd it is). While Tex focused on the fashion faux pas of the evening (of which there were many), I will focus on another important area: the dance floor.

Again, the men were on their best behavior (well, as far as we could see). Bless the hearts of those white boys who think they can dance (and sing along!) to Rob Base. But I digress.

Ladies: you are not a pussycat doll. In fact, despite your cleavage baring, overexposed, too tight, "holiday" party outfit, you are, in fact, an employee at one of the most respected consulting firms in the country. Get a grip. There is no need to (1) gyrate to "SexyBack" (sexy never left, baby.) (2) throw yourself at the men dancing around you (3) cling to the men dancing around you (4) sing along and gesticulate so, for lack of a better word, hard that you spill your warm Blue Moon all over innocent (compared to you) bystanders.

Overheard on the dance floor (before the real party started): "Man, you look like a million bucks...but that's no different than any other day." Ew.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

How to meet men.

Ha. From a very good friend of mine...her list of ways I can meet a good, date-able man:

1. hang out at local hospitals so that you can hit on residents and young drs.

2. start going out in [nearby major metropolitan city] more than [suburban sprawl pseudo city in which you live] (just to get out of the rut)

3. start reading at starbucks (the good location ones) or start hanging out at barnes and noble

4. take a karate class (i crack myself up)

5. take a grad class somewhere in a subject that you like

6. walk around naked everywhere

7. if 6 isn't possible, then walk around in your bikini and heels everywhere

Words of wisdom from...Beyonce.

"You can't rush a man into anything – whether it's a relationship, marriage or having children. When he's ready, he'll let you know."

On the heels of my most recent breakup, I'll have to agree with her. Well said, Beyonce.

However, I'll have to disagree on one thing...why should you wait until he's ready? Unless you know that it's just a matter of time, more power to you. But, if you know that he sees a future that is different than yours, then are you sure you want to wait for him to possibly change his mind? Thus was my dilemma. We all know what my choice was. And also, we know that my fear is that his choice is going to change.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Isn't it ironic...don't you think?

So, with any breakup comes cleansing. Cleansing of the soul, cleansing of the mind, cleansing of the heart and, most importantly, cleansing of the home (I can't, however, get myself to throw away his toothbrush).

I have some of RCB's stuff and I want to give it back to him. Now, before you lecture me about how I only want an excuse to see him and that, if he wants his stuff, he can ask for it, I am going to SSSHHHH you. Recent circumstances have somewhat turned my disappointment to anger. I do not feel like going into details, but I don't have any desire (I am convincing myself of this) to see him or be with him.

I have other motives, though, too (the least of which is not planning a pick up/drop off and me looking extremely hot). He, too, has something of mine. A first edition of my favorite book of all time. And I want it back. He cannot have that. Absolutely zippy chance I'm not going to get it back, some way, some how.

The best part of the story? The titles of the books we will be trading are: Between a Rock and a Hard Place and In Cold Blood. Ironic, no?

Monday, December 11, 2006

Our own resident of Wisteria Lane.

As you know, we here at PWM like different perspectives. Whether they come from our bloggers or our blog friends, we're always willing to and wanting to hear other points of view.

And, so, we bring to you our newest addition: friends, meet Desperate Housewife.

She is neither desperate nor a housewife. But she is full of insight and has, because she is and has been married for quite a few years and out of the dating scene for quite a few more, a naivete about her that is endearing (not to mention fascinating). In addition, she has such good and honest views on situations and relationships that it's a shame not to take advantage and allow her, when she sees fit, to stand on her very own soapbox.

DH is truly a treat to have, as an addition to this blog and as a friend. I surely couldn't have made it through Friday night without her.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."

The subject, I know, has been talked to death. But, as I've said before, I use this space to put my feelings out there, because I prefer it to the traditional journal and, at times, I appreciate the comments and advice of strangers (and friends).

I was much stronger today than I thought I would be. In fact, I cried only when retelling the story to a concerned friend. I cried because I am sad. And it's okay to feel this way, I know. "If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears."

Most surprisingly, and despite the animosity toward him that seethes from some, I feel no anger. Not one bit. I feel a tremendous amount of disappointment, even more sadness and a tad of loneliness, but I feel not one drop of hatred or anger. In fact, I feel quite the opposite, which I know most people probably will not understand. "We laughed until we had to cry, we loved right down to our last goodbye, but over the years we'll smile and recall for just one moment we had it all."

But, most of you also do not know RCB as I know him. You know what I tell you, and what I tell you is mostly the bad stuff, with a lot of exaggeration thrown into the mix. You do not know how he was when we were together, the sweet and intimate things he would say and do. I often chose not to share those things because I felt like they were mine; and while the showy part of me (a part of me that doesn't always come out) wanted to flaunt my happiness to the blogosphere, I refrained. This was my thing, these were my secrets, this was my happiness. "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

It must be the "anatomy" of a breakup, but as my dear friend said when I explained my lack of anger, "you are probably in the forgiveness phase." I guess I am. But being in this phase makes me think that I could be friends with him, as he requested on numerous occasions. I know that this can't happen right away, or even soon. But I miss him. I really do. "I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day."

I also care about him and honestly want him to be happy. Based on our conversations, I am not sure that is possible, which makes me worry. I question what my true feelings for him are/were. "You know you love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.

I obviously still feel like he made a mistake and fear he will realize it and come back; what I fear most, those, is what my reaction will be if this happens. I told him I could never do this again. I'm hoping that's the truth. "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

I think he got scared about the intensity of the relationship and the speed at which it progressed. I question his "reasoning" for the breakup, the impetus for our conversation; while seemingly valid (and the truth) I think it was the most extreme scenario he could have executed, because he knew that the answer to his question was going to be all or nothing. He was right. "He that shuts love out, in turn shall be shut out from love, and on her threshold lie, howling in outer darkness."

"No one can promise they'll never hurt you, because at one time or another they will. The real promise is if the time you spent together will be worth the pain in the end." I think it was. I hope it was. Time, I suppose, will tell.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Reese and Ryan. Jennifer and Vince. Britney and KFed. RD and RCB.

And so it goes. Despite the exclusivity talk, the calls while away on boys’ weekend, and the four day/five night marathon date, RCB decided to step it up and, you guessed it, put the kabash on what I thought was starting to become RD’s first healthy relationship.

Um, yeah. Where the fuck did that come from? Left field, I tell you. Left. Field.

There is so much that I want to put into writing, to save for posterity about this break up conversation. But I have neither the time nor the desire, at least at this moment, to capture all of that. For you, or for myself. I may decide to put it in installments, just so that I have a record of my feelings and thoughts. But, in the meantime, you get the highlights.

Among the gems of the six hour (two three hour segments, divided by sleeping in the same bed with miles of mattress space between us) conversation were the following (in no particular order, mind you, and perhaps a bit paraphrased) gems (spoken, obviously, by him):

“I just see black clouds when I think about this relationship. And doom. It’s going to be a train wreck, and you’re going to be the one who gets hurt.”

“I never want to get married. Ever.”

“But, if I do get married, I don’t see us getting married.”

“You can’t bring me home to meet your parents.”

“I’m not in love with you and don’t know if I ever will be. I just don’t see us spending the rest of our lives together.”

“I love being with you and spending time with you. We laugh, we do things together, we have lots of fun. We can be together without being together. But it’s not right. It’s not going to work if we want two different things.”

“Why do you want to be with me? There is someone better out there.”

“I knew from the moment I set my eyes on you that something was going to happen between us.”

“I am really going to miss you.”

“We can still be friends—but I can’t be the guy who calls you after I break up with you.”

If I were to honor you all with my comments to these, you’d be here forever. And, really, what I said or didn’t say obviously made no difference whatsoever in the outcome of the conversation, as I am sitting here, alone, for the first weekend in three months (disregarding the weekends either of us were away). I did not get off the couch yesterday for eight hours, and then only because a very good friend of mine drove two hours to come and have dinner with me. I couldn’t bear to go into my bedroom (don’t worry, I’ve been there and slept there since) and the thought of eating or drinking anything made my insides turn.

Confusion, sadness and disappointment aside, I think that I need to be mature enough to recognize and accept that this is for the best. RCB could not give me what I needed (though, ironically, I think I was and would have continued to be a very good provider to him—perhaps a problem in and of itself). This was never a healthy relationship, as I always had doubts and trust issues (whether legitimate or not, unfortunately). But I wanted it to be. I wanted to make this work.

What is most unfortunate, and a lesson learned, is that the first real, meaningful, honest conversation we had was the one which led to the break up. I told him that, too—that I wished we had been this honest from the beginning, that it may have altered the relationship. He agreed, saying that would have made a difference but would not have changed the outcome. It would have just caused us to have this conversation even sooner than this.

Despite my heartache (which is slowly but surely fading away, thanks to the plethora of support I’ve received since he walked out the door), I am glad that he had the gumption (thanks, Jack Daniels) to bring this up. He is right—it was better to have this talk now than in two months or six months or a year. We probably saved ourselves (or me) a lot of drama and anxiety and sadness. But it was just such a surprise.

Before he left, he said he hoped that he didn’t get into the car and realize he had made the wrong decision. I told him the decision was his to make, that he had to make it before he left because once he closed the door behind him, there was no coming back, that I was never going to talk to him (theoretically) again. I told him that I could never let myself go back to him. He had hurt me twice, I said, and pretty much told me that he didn’t love me. How could I be stupid enough to let that person back into my life?

As stupid as I was to allow him to kiss me and hug me and be with me one last time before we parted ways. And maybe as stupid as it was to believe that he would, truly, miss me.

If he misses me half as much as I miss him right now, then he has a long road ahead of him.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Does the Past Matter?

So, though I've alluded to it in at least one blog post, I don't think I've ever directly admitted that I am a divorcee. Yup. I married my college boyfriend. The marriage was short, but not sweet. It ended badly, very badly. I bring this up now, not because I'm seeking pity, but because yet again, I'm struggling with how and when to convey this information to a boy (specifically HS).

Yes, HS and I have continued dating and things are going really well. Really well. And, I'm so happy. But last night, I started to worry about whether or not he knows and whether or not it will matter if he does not.

Allow me to explain. HS and I "met" on line. The dating service of choice does list your status, and my profile shows that I'm divorced. But, it's not something that's in red flashing lights. Actually, in reviewing my profile this morning, I realized, it would be pretty easy to miss this little detail. Now, you may laugh at me and think that it's impossible for someone to miss such information. But, it's not. EE missed it. We had been dating for months before I finally decided to confirm whether or not he knew. And, he didn't. I should add that EE's profession requires that he read in extremely close detail. So, the fact that he missed it shocked me. He said it didn't matter. He said it didn't change things. But, I wasn't convinced. And, I really think that had he known it up front, he might not have initiated contact with me.

In the aftermath of my divorce, I've now dated/had "relationships" with five guys. Five. And, I've never quite figured out how to go about doing this. With FWB, I waited a long time. But, also that was a long distance thing, and it wasn't ever a relationship. And, when I did tell him, I found out he had known all along (we have friends in common). With WB, he knew before anything transpired between us. With EE, I thought he knew, and he didn't. With AG, I told him on the second date...all the details. It was wonderful to be able to be so open, but it also created a therapy-type aspect to our relationship that may not have been necessarily healthy. And now, there's HS.

So, what to do? I know that everyone will say, tell him and if he's not okay with it, he's not the right guy for you anyway. And, while I know this to be true, the thought of it still makes me sad. I have two days to think about this and to decide how I want to go about it. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Fear not the unknown.

It happened…what you’ve all been waiting for. RCB and I had the DTR. Okay, so it might have been in a slightly passive aggressive manner (as is our style), and it may have been instigated by heavily alcoholic beverages (he was drinking, I was not). But it happened. And, surprise of surprises, it was RCB who initiated.

Without going into the minute details (which, as you know, I do tend to do), let’s just say that we both told each other that, while we could be dating other people, neither one of us were or wanted to be doing so. So, we’re exclusive. I know I have critics out there who will say that he’s telling me what I want to hear, that he knows he has to say this in order for our relationship to continue as is, that he has given me reasons lately and in the past not to be trusting of him…

To you, critics, I say that I have to believe him, I have to believe in the possibility of us. If this is going to work, I have to check my baggage, and his, at the door. And, this time, it's what I want to do.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Doin' it (and doin' it and doin' it) Dr. Phil style.

When it rains, it pours. PWM is proud to welcome a new feature to the blog: advice from LC.

Now, LC has been mentioned frequently in my blogs as of late, as I have been in great need of life coaching. She's great at it. Trust me. Sometimes we all need a little tough love.

So, welcome Life Coach. LC is ready to monitor our posts and their comments and will hold us accountable for all we say and do. She will throw in her two cents' worth when she sees fit and, don't fret, is used to people (haha, me, specifically) not listening to (but nevertheless appreciating) her no nonsense approach. She knows what's up. Seriously.

LC is a master friend, girlfriend, listener, counselor, dater, talker...all qualities that are essential in a life coach.

She realizes the challenge(s) associated with this new position. She's watched enough Dr. Phil to know, though, that while the views of complete outsiders are often met with resistance, they are still (in the grand scheme of things) worth putting out there.

Hola, LC.