Can't buy me love.

I opened my DailyCandy email today to see what I can only call a pathetic ad for my favorite [insert sarcasm] dating website, Match.com. And, bad bad bad DailyCandy for selling out like that.

Per the email, "When you want a real romance, you want to turn to someone you trust. And one very trustworthy place has something new to offer."

What they're offering is a guarantee that you will find love in six months, or you get six months free. I find so many things wrong with this. So. Many. Things.

1. Since I started my Match subscription (six months ago), I have received three emails a week with potential matches. Four months into it, I began getting repeats. Many of my repeats were men with whom I shared some sort of communication (whether initiated or reciprocated by me). The point: there are not "millions of potential dates" out there unless you are (a) undiscriminating (b) looking all over the world for Mr. Right.
2. I had had my fill by the end of my three months. I had not found "love" or anything even close and was ready to say "No, thanks" not only to potential skeevy suitors but, also, to Match itself. I hadn't found love and wouldn't have kept looking if they gave me another three months free. I hadn't even found like. Or lust. Why would I want another six months of "Hey, your pretty we would really get along here's my phone number" emails and winks from men without faces (ie no profile photos)? The point: I can amuse myself with bad writing in a million other ways. I do not need it in my inbox. Plus, I get enough emails already. And I prefer real life winks (and forehead kisses) than virtual ones from strangers. PS I hate strangers.
3. I would like to note that it was I, Reluctant Dater, who first used the "online dating is like shopping" simile. So, props to me, please. The point: I'm brilliant.
4. I do not, nor will I ever, "trust" a dating website that has no idea who I am and knows me only by my credit card number. Who are they to pick my Prince Charming? I mean, I can't even do it, and I know me better than anyone. The point: I'm an adult and can take responsibility for my own actions and bad choices. I do not need Match.com to serve as a scapegoat/intermediary.

Is this smart marketing? I don't know. I wouldn't commit to six months if there is a three month option, regardless of their "guarantee." It was hard enough committing to three months, but stupid Dr. Phil stood there mocking me, so I felt like I had no choice. But if I was unsatisfied after three months, I wouldn't have wanted another three months to "see," even if it were free. A whole year on Match? Give me a "No, thanks" button, please.