To Fish or Cut Bait? That is the Question
So yes, I've been MIA for quite a while. From time to time, I've chimed in with a line or two, but I've been largely absent from the blogosphere. My apologies to all, not that you care mind you.
I now return while pondering whether it's time to have a fish or cut bait kind of conversation with none other than EE. Yes, that's right, EE is still in the picture. All has been going extremely well...with one exception. During the course of the relationship, we've really never discussed the concept of "us." The few attempts at such a conversation have been quickly aborted (because I just become too nervous to bring it up and so metaphorically flee prior to the commencement and/or development of said discussion).
I realized yesterday, that I really need and DESERVE to have this conversation. I need to know what's going on here. I need to have a sense of whether this has potential to develop into a 3 carat Harry Winston kind of relationship or whether it will continue in this sort of nebulous yet simultaneously serious status that it maintains at the present time. It's not that I need to know concretely that said individual is going to be "the one." I just need to know that the potential is there. Because if not, then I need to move on...before I get too attached and it becomes too hard.
Because I'm a big fan of in depth analysis, here's what I know at the present time. I know we have fun together. I know that we get along well. We enjoy the same things, we have a similar sense of humor, and we are both professional, stable, well-educated adults. Here's what I don't know (a) the "status" of the relationship (I consider us to be "dating" but is there a BF-GF thing or could this be leading to a BF-GF thing?) (b) how he feels about me (obviously I can speculate based on actions, but there's been no verbal expression of emotion) and (c) where he sees himself in the long term.
So, dear readers (if you are still out there), how do I proceed?
posted by Objection @ Thursday, August 17, 2006
5 Comments:
We're still here!
Hmmm, How long have you been dating? I definitely think you have a right and need to know the status of what you have going on. You're right about not needing to define it as "ARE WE EVER GETTING MARRIED?", though, but I think you have a right to know if you're in soemthing committed or not.
GOOD LUCK!
You are completely entitled to know what is going on. In my past though, those conversations always come about naturally in the scheme of things but you might have to force yours a little. No harm in that...
right, nctrnl...as i have been telling objection, at five months you shouldn't have to be forcing conversations like this. they SHOULD be coming naturally and the fact that they're not is indicative of something...what? well, that is left to be determined. but better to fish or cut bait, friend.
Definitely don't go too much farther into this without knowing where it's going. It would suck to get emotionally attached (if you aren't already) and then find out it means less to him than you.
Actually, crap, I think I did this once. I kept avoiding the conversation when he would start saying how much he liked me because I wasn't ready to get all committed with him. Oops.
oh, notcarrie you pose an interesting point (can you pose a point? or just a question?)...anyway, the avoidance thing...interesting. but, avoidance at five months of spending practically every weekend together and even at least one date a week in addition is not "healthy." i keep contending (and i am privy to more information than you, dear readers) that his avoidance is another potential red flag...for a wide variety of reasons. not that this relationship is doomed (because objection is, aside from this slight anxiety, content with the situation) but he needs to be able to communicate or respond to her attempts to do so. he should not ignore them or blow them off.
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