"He broke up with me...on a post-it."
My favorite line from my favorite season of Sex and the City (I mean, with the advent of "he's just not that into you," how could it not be?). Poor, poor Carrie. Damn Berger.
In my infinite boredom here at "work" today, I was perusing some of my favorite blogs when I came across one that caught my attention. It was about breaking up (a favorite topic of mine, only because I consider myself to be a subject matter expert (or SME, as we in the consulting world like to call them)). In an extremely rudimentary sense, this blog was not about your run of the mill break up but about breaking up in the age of technology. Yes, friends, breaking up via text message.
Now, really. With all that is technological in our lives these days, it's hard not to become at least somewhat dependent upon the phone, computer, sidekick, whatever to communicate. However, do not even think about breaking up with me this way. (Also, don't propose to me via text message, either. Or, while we're at it, on the jumbotron.)
Anyway...if you don't have the guts to tell me to my face then, man, you suck. I guess, though, being broken up with over text is better than not being broken up with at all. Yes, gals (and guys, if you're out there) I know you know what I'm talking about: the cessation of all communication, for no apparent reason, despite the fact that the week (hell, even the day) before everything seemed normal and you had talked no less than 849 times.
WTF? Please tell me why men do this. It's not like it's some random occurrence, some fluke of nature that only I have been victim to (and more than once!). What's the deal? Can anyone explain?
It all comes down to this, I think: the people who break up with you via these means obviously have communication issues. As such, your relationship has issues because while you can (and are willing to) talk talk talk about anything and everything, your [ill chosen] counterpart cannot. And is a coward. And can't deal. Loser.
posted by Reluctant Dater @ Tuesday, August 22, 2006
8 Comments:
Even worse is when you break up face-to-face with a person and they totally ignore the fact both that the break-up conversation ever happened and that the relationship generally wasn't going well in the first place. They then proceed to call and email as per normal...
haha, right...like donna and ray on 90210. he just did. not. get. it.
My last boyfriend sent me the following text - "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me." Lifted right from Berger's post it.
Women do it too (the last woman that I dated called me (you would think that after knowing her for 3 months of intermittent dating and less than 2 hours from a scheduled date (and that she lives a mile from me) that I would at least get an in-person visit) "I think we have drifted into the friends zone *pause* *pause* *click*").
Guys do it because its easier and less likely to cause a scene. Remember that overall us men are very visual creatures and it makes it easier to do an action like this without the woman (and in particular her body... lets face it, that can weaken our resolve and not have us carry through on our plan) in front of us.
Though I do agree, something is better than nothing.... I hate all the dates/relationships that suddenly gain the attributes of a black hole, all your calls/emails/im's/texts go in and nothing comes out. Even a courtesy communication of any kind is better than that treatment (how long does it take to type "Sorry I just don't think we are right for each other" or "I don't think we are a good match, good luck in your search"... oh wait, it took like 10 seconds....). Good manners seem to go out the door when it comes to dating sometimes..
yes. something is much better than nothing. i hate the non ending. i once had a guy just not show. he lived in another big city in another state and had made plans to visit. we spoke the night before WHILE HE PACKED. The the next day when he was supposed to call adn say he was getting on the road...nothing. so i call...no answer. a couple hours go by...i get nervous and conflicted (as in should i be pissed or worried) ...so i call again...no answer.
i recently saw a wedding announcement for him. i guess he is alive afterall...
If you can have the DTR talk, then you should be able to have the ETR* talk.
*End The Relationship
daniel, i apologize for attributing this only to men. women do it, too, you are right. i may have even done it once (though, it was just me not returning a phone call after one date...certainly not the same magnitude of ceasing communication with someone i had been dating for months).
i have also heard the excuse that this is a better approach because you don't have to listen to (1) crying (2)reasons why s/he is wrong (3) you aren't the obviously apparent bad guy/gal.
kind of like when guys start acting like aholes so that you break up with THEM.
which is one of my favorite things men do...i love the bad behavior..
though i have witnessed women employ this tactic as well...and i may...MAY...have even done it once myself.
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