Grounds for Dismissal?
Today I came home and in the mail was a long awaited invite to a good friend's upcoming wedding. Excitedly, I noted that I was invited "with guest." Wow. Pretty cool. For the first time in quite a while, I actually had a guest whom I wanted to invite to accompany me to said wedding. Yup EE. Still in the picture, BTW, after a good conversation last week (in said conversation I received the answer to some, but not all of my questions and decided I could go forward based on that knowledge at least for a while).
So, presented with an opportunity to inquire as to whether EE would like to attend said event with me, I jumped at the chance. Sure, I was nervous...but, why should I be? After all, who wouldn't want to accompany me to such an event? Well, apparently, EE wouldn't want to accompany me. That's right.
Now, in EE's "defense" he has a potential "other commitment" that weekend. Okay, fine. That I can understand. But, need I emphasize the word POTENTIAL? He didn't even say, hey if I don't have said commitment, I would love to go...or, hey, can I get back to you in a few days? Nope. Now, he wasn't mean about it. We kind of joked about it in the aftermath, and I pretended it didn't really matter. But, it did. A lot.
Now, at this point, I could go on and on about how I have a friend who lives near said wedding, that probably would come along. I should add, this friend, is a former friend with benefits. And, I should add that I have zero self control around said friend. And, I should add that when I'm being totally honest with myself, I know I still have feelings for said friend, even though I know he doesn't share said feelings, or at least not to the level that I possess them. Sure, I could tell you about how I imagine calling up said friend, and asking him to go with me...and how he'd agree...and how much fun it would be. And, yes...I could ask you, dear readers, to give me your input re: whether I should ask said "friend" to attend.
But, I won't, for several reasons. It's a bad idea. Obviously bad. It's not fair to EE. It's not fair to our relationship (though who knows if that relationship will survive until said wedding -- I mean, what does this whole incident say about "us"?). And, it's probably not fair to me.
So why is it so tempting?
posted by Objection @ Thursday, August 24, 2006
2 Comments:
I have conflicting thoughts on this:
1. He should want to go with you and if he has a potential conflict, say he'd go anyway.
2. A lot of people look at weddings as being on the same level as hell. Not me, I'd love to go to some weddings, but of course NOONE I know is engaged.
3. I imagine going with the friend would just be asking for trouble? I'm unsure if you were saying something would definitely happen with him or not.
I"m not that disturbed with his response...but again I don't have clear insight into his everyday personality...and how you interact together. his response isn't great but if that's how he is generally then it's kind of that whole don't sweat the small stuff...let's face it, men sometimes say things not the way we woudl like them to...and we will drive ourselves consistently crazy if we play the "if only he would have said it this way" or "what did he mean like that" over-analyzation game. (which i am guilty of often...and get close to this same lecture from my mother each time )
he may want to go to wedding but doesn't want to get your hopes up because the other engagement is a distinct possibility. it's much easier to say maybe and not attend than to say yes and have to disappoint.
for your own sake, i would not fall back on the "friend" as of yet. It doesn't sound like he's going anywhere. Should you and EE decide to end then maybe reconsider that path (though you don't paint it as something healthy...but believe me i won't judge...we all have guilty pleasures)
my two cents.
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