Letting him in.
There comes a time in every relationship when boundaries disappear and your world turns into his and vice versa. I think that time has come with me and RCB.
You all know, by now, that we are pretty much inseparable. Spending every day and night together is great. We are comfortable around each other and have developed a routine. One that includes him having to be buzzed into my building every time he comes "home" because he doesn't have a key.
He doesn't have a key.
Now, here's the interesting thing: my phone, my access to the buzzer that opens the door for him, died an early death yesterday. RIP. I don't feel like going to get a new one. The phone being dead, mind you, obviously does not preclude him from getting upstairs. We're smart kids who aren't entirely incapable of seeing alternatives.
He can call my cell and say he's downstairs. He can throw pebbles at my window or serenade me from the front steps. Or, he can accept a set of keys.
Is it too soon to offer these keys to my kingdom? Does offering them extend to him the idea that this relationship is moving into a new realm? He gladly accepted a parking sticker so that he's not stopped and accosted every time he attempts to drive through the gates. But are keys different?
posted by Reluctant Dater @ Monday, March 19, 2007
5 Comments:
I think this logistical problem necessitates giving him a key. And you are obviously comfortable with the idea, so tonight when he calls you to "let him in", just hand him a key to your place.
Just don't put it on your bright pink heart key chain....
haha. great advice.
yeah go ahead and give it.
I debate the same issues. It seems natural when it makes things more simple (hey, could you feed the cat while I'm gone, or come on in so I don't have to leave a trail of water from the shower to the door). I always wonder though...is convenience a good enough reason?
Despite that, I think with as much time as you two spend together, it's probably more than mere convenience. Have you two at least discussed or joked about it before?
i can only relate my own experience. after dating 13 months, on valentines day, i received some beautiful jewelry (which i could care less about). no key, no garage door opener, nothing but a drawer in his dresser. and i periodically hinted for those others items, and got told by him that he's not getting married again. so i took the leap. i dumped him. imho, he was just not that into me. and as a mature adult, i don't want to pretend that we have a secure relationship when, in fact, we don't.
those are my 2 cents.
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