Still No Saluting.

Here they are, as I know you've been anxiously awaiting them...

Red Flags 51-100.

51. Wwwaaahhhhh, he’s been really hurt in the past.
52. When you are sad, he tries to cheer you up by wearing your panties.
53. When you are sad, he doesn’t notice.
54. He has never read a book for pleasure. Or even at all.
55. Your brother knows his name but kindly refers to him as either “The Douche Bag” or “The Asshole.” Sometimes even “The Asshole Douche Bag.”
56. Despite the fact that you’ve been seriously dating for six months, his father doesn’t know you exist.
57. Despite the fact that you’ve been dating for six months, he doesn’t know you exist. Unless he’s drunk and it’s after midnight.
58. A male friend accompanies him when he shows up for one of your dates. Male friend proceeds to flirt with you.
59. He mentions friends of his with whom he thinks you would get along great—and not just as friends.
60. He emails you the link to the closed circuit camera system that shows views of his house.
61. He sends you an email or says something that obviously references something he only could have found by doing a Google search of your name.
62. Almost eight months into the relationship, he keeps a photograph of his ex girlfriend next to your bed.
63. After months of dating, he cannot name your favorite drink, food, song or restaurant.
64. He suggests talking to your girlfriends about your relationship with him so that you can get a better grip. Like you don’t already. And they don’t hate him.
65. You spend more time on the phone, sending text messages or IMing and emailing than you do together.
66. Even the most simple email exchange or a phone conversation is riddled with sexual innuendo. But no sex is being had.
67. He calls you from places where he is (the beach, concerts, etc) and says things like “you really need to come here some time with your friends.”
68. He is known only as “Red Flag So and So” to your friends. When you call him by just his given name their response is “Who??”
69. He has a wedding ring.
70. He has an ex-wife. Or two.
71. Before you start dating him, his former girlfriend states, " 'Red Flag So and So' is a great friend, but he's a terrible boyfriend."
72. You know and dislike his former girlfriend.
73. He promises to call you to make plans one night, but never does so. The next day, he explains that he didn't call because, "he has a girlfriend." A few weeks later, you go on your first date. You don't ask questions.
74. He admits that he's hooked up with another coworker but assures you, "it didn't mean anything."
75. He is allegedly single and condoms are a standard component of his shaving kit.
76. He doesn't discourage you from referring to your "relationship" as friends with benefits.
77. His best friend is coincidentally someone that you knew in college who was a total fraternity boy/ ass. Said best friend remains a total fraternity boy/ass.
78. Even though he's allegedly single, his best friend openly threatens to send photos of the two of you holding hands to the [not so] "ex" girlfriend.
79. When discussing his sexual history, he maintains he "can't remember" if he had sex with a certain girl, but he's "pretty sure" he did.
80. He thinks it's "cool" to wear his old high school baseball jacket (and yes, he's in his mid twenties at the time).
81. Your father can't stand him.
82. Neither can your mother.
83. Or anyone you know.
84. Running a criminal background check would reveal multiple criminal offenses (and those are just the ones that are actually on his record; your father is convinced there are juvenile offenses that have been expunged).
85. When he goes to the lake with your family, he has to purchase Under Armour to wear when swimming to hide the lopsided tattoo of a heart with the word "mom" in it that he has on his arm.
86. His best friend says to you, "It's a shame that 'Red Flag So and So' always hurts the people who care about him."
87. The only talk you've ever had is "pillow talk."
88. Despite the fact that you've been sleeping together for a semester and despite the fact that his fraternity is holding their biggest party of the year (to which each member can invite six guests), you are not one of women he selects to put on his list (though, he does tell you about the event a few weeks before and acts as if he'll invite you).
89. On your second date, he calls you prior to picking you up and says, "Let's just be realistic, you're sleeping over here tonight, right?"
90. He tells you he saves his Clinique Happy cologne to wear on rainy days.
91. He shaves parts of his body other than his face. And he’s not a swimmer.
92. He has an unnaturally close relationship with his sister (think Flowers in the Attic).
93. He sleeps on a futon and he’s not in college.
94. When he goes Dutch on the first date.
95. He uses Star Wars action figures as window treatments.
96. He plays Dungeons and Dragons.
97. “I hope you don’t mind, I did ‘shrooms before I came over.”
98. When he takes more time getting ready than you do.
99. When he gets his designer jeans tailored in the women’s department at Bloomingdales because the men’s tailor just doesn’t do a good enough job.
100. You are out of college and it is your anniversary. Your gift is a college alumni t-shirt (not even a sweatshirt!) and a lanyard.