I could never, EVER be a contestant on The Bachelor.

I think I have a jealousy issue. That may or may not stem from an inadequate view of myself as a dater.

Is it weird that if I’m interested in someone, I don’t want him to be interested in (ie email, talk to, go out with, make out with) any other girl(s) (and by interested I mean looking to date)? Ok, so we’re not exclusive. Hell, we’re not even “dating,” per se. But I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that he is communicating with other females. (Note: this is a general "he" not a specific one.)

It’s not like I couldn’t be doing the same—well, communicating with other men, I mean. But I have a problem focusing attention (aka crush energy) on more than one person at a time. I’m a unilateral dater. Hmm, not sure if that even makes sense, but you know what I mean.

The good thing is, this jealousy is never outwardly manifested. In other words, he never knows about it because I hide it (along with other things) quite well. Inside, however, it bothers me. A lot. Thanks to the stalwart girlfriends who have to sit an listen to my farfetched anxieties and my ridiculous gripes.

Despite the opinions of many that I should not, I have a date with RCB tomorrow. I anxiously await (but am hopefully willing away) the barrage of “I told you so”s. As Objection would say, he’s still under BODS (benefit of the doubt status).