It's All About Me.

Maybe if I actually adopted this motto I'd have a better excuse for dating "failures." Whatever.

I was pleasantly surprised when I logged on to get my daily dose of TheBarmaid this morning and found I'd been tagged. I've finally made it in the blogging world!

In trying to come up with things about me that were "interesting" or "eccentric" I just realized that I am weird and OCD. But whatev. Enjoy. (I did seven, because I misnumbered and didn't want to delete any of my hard work).

And, Larissa, Objection and NotCarrie...you're it!

1. I am the queen of rationalization. Give me anything and I can make it okay. You want to buy that super cute black polka dot jacket from Nordstrom (even though you went shopping for the express purpose of buying only a new pair of jeans and lip gloss)? I can make you realize why it would be a million times worse not to have it than it would be to have it; I will create outfits for you with wardrobe pieces you don't even own. This ability comes especially in handy during the Easter season, when it becomes necessary to rationalize why a chocolate chip granola bar is not, in fact, a sweet/dessert (it’s granola...the chocolate chips are merely ingredients... you can eat it for breakfast, so it’s not dessert, per se).

2. I have the keen ability to recall what I had for dinner or what I (or others) were wearing on innocuous days from my childhood. The last time my brother threw up at the dinner table? We had Domino’s pizza, two of my cousins were over, there was no room at the table so I was standing at the kitchen counter and I was wearing the most awesome outfit ever: black stonewashed jeans with a red/yellow/green plaid waistband that matched the oversized tucked in button down and—get this—matching suspenders. I also had a cream colored silk headband with a large offset puffy bow.

3. Speaking of food, I have an insatiable need to know, read, watch everything I can about eating disorders (Lifetime movies especially included). I know facts about bulimia that would make your stomach turn. This is kind of paradoxical, as I am the last person in the world who would ever have an eating disorder as (1) I love food. A lot. (2) I do not have the willpower to be anorexic or an exercise anorexic (3) I hate to vom more than anything and cannot force myself to do so, even under the most necessary situations. In fact, a sub-interesting fact is that I can pretty much stick my whole fist down my throat. Ha, so appropriate to know for a dating website, huh?

4. Though almost (cough) 30, I have an unnatural affinity toward all things “teenager.” This especially includes teen melodrama, whether on the big (Um, yes I saw Stick It on opening weekend) or small (so what if I DVR Gilmore Girls every day) screen. If I could dress like a teenager (unsluttily, of course) I totally would.

5. Which leads me to my closet. Though not necessarily an overly neat or organized person, my closet would cause you to think otherwise about my OCD tendencies. Everything is arranged by season, color, length, type of clothing, all facing the same direction. If I close my eyes, I can picture my hanging beauties in my head. I know where everything goes. In college, I had the world’s greatest cedar walk in closet (it was bigger than my ghetto dorm room had been the year before). There was the perfect amount of space to hang up everything. And I did. I also happened to have a psycho roommate that year who enjoyed borrowing my clothes without asking. She’d try something on, decide she didn’t want to wear it, and put it back. I always knew, because though she tried, it was never “just right.” Don’t try to trick me, buddy. I’m on to you. To that end, I also have over 50 pairs of shoes, also separated by category and color (one of my favorite organizational purchases of late is the inserts you put into knee boots so that they retain their shape and so that you can hang them in your closet). This does not include the 20+ pairs of flip flops that adorn my feet for as long as possible (props to The Barmaid for this other similarity).

6. I am obsessed with things smelling good. I have a Glade plug in plugged into every socket of my house (sometimes of varying scents, so as to trick the nose). Every time a male walks into my home (which isn’t often, but still), the first comment is, inevitably, “wow, it smells like a girl lives here.” Correspondingly, I have more than a handful (okay, maybe even two) of perfumes from which to choose each morning (signature scent be damned). And about eight different kinds of deodorant (with back up in the car, in my purse, and in my desk drawer at work) in my medicine cabinet.

7. In the building where I work, there is a television in the lobby, set up kind of like they are in a hospital room (on one of those revolving wall/ceiling stands). Every time I walk to the bathroom I purposely walk under it and wonder what would happen if, at that moment, all the pieces that are keeping it on the wall decide to give way and it falls on my head.