36 Hours After the Breakup

I'm not sure how many of you are Gilmore Girls fans, but if you are perhaps you recall the episode when Rory and Dean break up (the first time 'round). Lorelai attempts to encourage Rory to "wallow" for a day or two, but Rory refuses. She tries to fill her Saturday afternoon with lots of errands and then goes to a Chilton party that evening (where she kisses Tristan, but I digress). Finally, she submits and wallows.

Over 36 hours after my most recent breakup, I find myself in an odd state. I'm somewhere between wallowing and filling up my days with ridiculous productive activities. Yesterday, RD and I went to breakfast and then ended up at the mall. RD encouraged retail therapy. Hey, why not. I mean, now that I'm single again, I don't need to buy EE a birthday present next month (not that I really need that justification, because a breakup alone is enough to justify purchasing new Pumas). My appetite isn't what it should be and I'm surviving on cheese and crackers and Coke. Classic post breakup faire for me.

Today, I've been a little OTT. I got up and went running. I haven't gone running since the very early days of the relationship with EE. And, then I came home and started the major baking project which I must complete for a social event next weekend. While baking, I've been watching my DVD of Season 2 of the O.C. No matter how much my life might seem to suck right now, Marissa's sucks more.

I've also been thinking quite a bit about my relationship with EE, my continuing thing for the F.W.B. (which never seems to go away), and what my next steps will be. It's just so effing hard to meet people...despite the fact that I live in a very young, urban, professional kind of environment. I refuse to date co-workers having just made that mistake earlier this winter. But, my job demands long hours, and so there's not a lot of time for extracuriculars. My mom, who you may recall is part Emily Post, part Martha Stewart, and part Talbots model, maintains I need to get back into Internet dating. Of course, she also thinks EE will resurface and she somewhat encourages F.W.B.

So, Internet dating. Hmmm. Can I do it again? I was so lucky the last time around to meet EE within days of starting the whole process -- not sure I'll be so lucky in the future. But, I'm thinking that if I do it, this time I'll be trying out E-Harmony. For one thing, I wasn't impressed by the selection on the prior Internet dating service of choice. And, also, it seems that E-Harmony might be a slower process -- which could be good. This will prevent a fast rebound. It will give me some time to fly solo. And, okay...if I'm perfectly honest with myself, it might give me some more time to figure out the F.W.B. situation...or at the very least attempt AGAIN to get him out of my system.

Despite the fact that I'm still mourning the end of the relationship with EE, I can't help but be excited about the future. As Romance Junkie pointed out, there's a theme of optimism on this blog right now. Maybe I'm crazy. Or maybe, I'm just hoping that he's out there somewhere, waiting to meet me just like I'm waiting to meet him. And, hey, remember after the Dean breakup, Rory eventually met Jess, and he was incredibly hot. See,there's hope Girls -- there's hope.