The annoying girl.
That's what I'm going to be right now. I've given you fair warning.
So, RCB is gone for four days (and five nights) visiting his family. He left yesterday. Prior to his departure, we had spent four days (and three nights) together; we went to a party, spent Sunday putzing around, went to the movies, and generally just enjoyed each others' company.
When we said goodbye yesterday, after a too leisurely for a workday lunch at home, he gave me a kiss and told me to "have a good week." Immediately, I was thrust into Objection's dilemma of last week. A good week? You practically live at my house and you're implying you're not going to talk to me until you get back? He also said, when I said (eek, that girl) "I won't see you for a long time" that "I'll see you next week." I know we will see each other, as he left a suit and all its accessories in my closet. But, I digress.
He also said he'd call me from the road. Bored at work and awaiting Happy Hour yesterday afternoon, I called him. He didn't answer. Despite the five hour drive I knew he had, with lots of time to do so, he never called me back.
So, I texted him this morning, saying I hoped he'd had a good drive and could get out on the golf course today. He responded with something to the effect of the weather being bad yesterday but better today. And ended with "have a good day."
Blow off? Is he telling me to stop bothering him, that he'll talk to me when he's ready? Surely I cannot call him or text him again, as I'm obviously cramping his family style (he is weird around/about them, this I know). Am I over-reacting? Do I need to grow up about 10 years and just go with the flow?
posted by Reluctant Dater @ Thursday, November 16, 2006
2 Comments:
It sounds like you already know what the appropriate action is! Though we have no way of knowing what goes through RCB's head when he is preparing to visit family, it's never an effortless affair for any guy.
As he travels back home he'll be passing by familiar sights and taking in the history and memories that they evoke. Maybe he'll stop along the way and reflect on how those times, they are a changin'. Being an inherently spiritual/introspective activity, don't be surprised or concerned if a cell phone call (or anything from his current life) missed his notice. Granted, he did say he'd call and that's worth a gentle ribbing later.
All this naturally changes when he actually arrives at the family's place. Depending on the family, he'll be put back into the social role he was in years ago and a number of the layers that seperate us from the real world will be peeled away under the lens of familial interaction. Without knowing how long he's been away from the folks, it could take a while for him to re-center himself and finally realize he should be calling you!
The text route is probably the best way to go at this point. If you really feel like it, test him again by asking if he'll give you a ring at some definite time at least 4-6 hours later, it'll give him a chance to pop that block of time into his day. He'll then see it as part of the natural flow of the day and look forward to it, as opposed to being off-kilter from an interrupting cell phone.
Hope that helps! Oh, and "have a good week" is just a basic reassurance in a guy's lexicon, he probably wasn't thinking that far ahead. Besides, doesn't "Have a great day tomorrow until I call you and wish you another great day for the day after" have an odd ring to it?
PS On the off chance you might wonder why he'd only use a "basic" reassurance with you instead of a poignant one, blame the family distraction. It's a jumbled mind sometimes and not everyone can wax poetic on the spot!
PPS Lovely blog. All the best for your relationship(s).
wow, greatwhitenorth, thanks!
well, he sees his family all the time. in fact, his parents were just here last weekend. and, their home is now five hours away, as they have retired to another state.
however, i know that there are a multitude of things going on that could affect his responsiveness and/or ability to contact me. as objection so rightly coined, he has "BODS" (benefit of the doubt status). i guess he does have it, though i wish i didn't have to give it to him.
i don't think i can ask him to call me...we're not really at that point in the relationship, and i don't want to appear to be needy (though, i am coming to find, i kind of am). i'm sure we'll talk in due time. i just hate waiting.
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